On the road: Please Horn!

Driving in India is a unique experience that merits a slideshow apart. It can best be accomplished when one has a secret, unfulfilled death wish. You don't need a driving license.

The streets are awful, the drivers suicidal. There are no rules, or highways for that matter. Drivers overtake on both sides and routinely you have someone driving against you on the highway, on YOUR lane: taking shortcuts is a specialty in India... Cows take a siesta everywhere and cars make detours, drivers stop in the middle of the highway for a chat. Accidents, when they happen, are awful. Ninety percent of all the vehicles on an Indian highway are Tata trucks in a lamentable condition. The rest is, well, you and your car...

And everybody horns non-stop.

But driving, although definitely not recommendable, is the most scenic way to see India,as well as a swift manner to commit suicide: it's a tombola game. Because, if you think of it, you'd otherwise have to take a train (only slightly safer, and a lot slower), a camel (but you'd have to multiply a distance by two, since half the way will be Up and Down, Up and Down, Up and Down...), or walk (Forrest Gump did it, Jain monks still do it,why not you?)

Distances are long and take an awful lot of time to drive. A day for 200km, for example. Plus the obligatory stop at the equally not recommendable highway cantine (sort of) and the visits to the toilet, which may prove to be more time-devouring than you thought...

Driving in India is like an Indian roulette. Same as a Russian roulette, only with more than one bullets. The positive side being, Indian guns are not trustworthy and may get jammed...

So, are you ready to Horn?

I hereby declare I have my driving license and agree to Please Horn!

PS: In between holes and holy cows, mad drivers and persisting sleepiness, this song, although it has nothing to do with India, managed to keep me awake. OK, most of the time... I assume this happened because it has to be the song with the silliest lyrics ever . No wonder the singer's name is Lady Gaga. Give it a try, if you have to,and don't count on a decent coffee in India to keep you awake, you can just as well drink water from the Ganges!